Pat ‘Said Yes’ to Fostering Safe Spaces
by Ebony Dooley, Samaritas Communications

At 34, Pat is a proud homeowner, wife, author, and mom of five that includes her beloved foster child. As a former foster kid, she’s got the chops to manage anything her bonus child can conjure.

She previously worked with the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services (MDHHS) to advocate for kids in troubled households and found her role rewarding. However, she lamented that the foster care industry has its challenges and could use more support. Like some child welfare professionals, Pat found it challenging to provide the level of care and respite for traumatized children due to the limited number of adults willing to become foster parents.

“I know firsthand what it means to be in foster care. I entered foster care at seven due to parental addiction and neglect and experienced life in multiple placements, including foster homes, group homes, fictive kin care and juvenile detention,” Pat recounted. “I know what it’s like for children going through unimaginable transitions.”

By 2020, Pat decided she’d seen enough and contacted Samaritas to become a licensed foster parent. She was licensed in 2021 and feels good about being part of the solution, saying “Despite my early hardships as a foster child I felt that fostering was the way to give back.”

Bumpy Roads Are Expected
Fostering hasn’t always been easy, but it’s worthwhile shielding kids from biological families that choose to abuse and neglect them. Rescuing children from ‘houses of horror’ is something that Pat will never shy away from. She understands that foster children have seen – and experienced too much – too early in life.

Pat is fostering a five-year-old child who has been placed in many different foster homes. The child also suffers behavioral issues due to severe abuse from the biological family. Violent outbursts, tantrums, and aggressive actions toward other children have been ongoing challenges for Pat, but she’s addressing them with grace, patience, and empathy – and it’s paying off. A structured behavioral plan to support the child’s success at school plus the care and love that only Pat can offer is improving the child’s behavior.

“We work hard to reinforce the rules and accountability at home that all the family must follow. It’s led to significant improvements in behavior, including better self-control and responsibility,” Pat shared. “It’s rewarding to see my foster child experiencing joy. Plus, the inclusion in all family routines has helped boost the child’s self-esteem and sense of belonging.”

More than anything, Pat wants people to understand that of traumatized foster youth like her foster kid, are not “bad kids.” They are survivors of adult-made chaos. They’re scared, lost, confused, and need someone who believes in them. She credits her faith in Jesus Christ as the anchor that keeps her going when times get tough.

“Fostering is my ministry. It’s how I serve. It’s how I help young people see that they matter,” said Pat. “Fostering has challenged me, changed me, and given me a deeper understanding of patience, compassion, and the healing power of home.”