Jessica and Ryan ‘Said Yes’ to Fostering Pre-teens
by Ebony Dooley, Samaritas Communications

Fostering was a part of Jessica’s life long before she and Ryan married. As a single woman, she fostered for five years, helping three young women successfully transition into adulthood. Today, those women are thriving, and Jessica even has three grandsons through them.

Keep Siblings Together
Throughout her fostering journey, Jessica has been committed to keeping siblings together – a challenge many foster families face due to the increased responsibilities of caring for multiple children. With a proven track record of raising older foster kids, it was a no-brainer for the family to foster two sisters in 2024. 

“It’s very important to me to keep siblings together,” she explained. “I have five siblings of my own, and those relationships are so important. In foster care, siblings are often separated, and that’s a great tragedy.”

“We bonded very quickly with them. It was nice to have four girls in the home,” Jessica shared. “We had so much fun—dance parties, playing Barbies—it was a house full of energy and laughter.”

Pre-teens in Foster Care Are Smart
Fortunately, the transition to a blended family was smooth. Jessica’s two daughters, who were four and seven years old at the time got along well with the toddler and pre-teen who had come to stay for a while. However, there were a few hiccups with having an independent, strong-willed pre-teen. 

“My seven-year-old was used to being the oldest in the home,” Jessica explained. “They’d have conflicts about ‘who's in charge?’ when they would play. But in the end, they became best buds.” 

“As a parent, it was my job to let her know that it was okay to be a kid. She doesn't have to work here,” Jessica said. “It was important to let her know that we were there for her so that she could heal from her trauma and just be a kid.” 

Jessica has a deep appreciation for pre-teens, a group of foster kids who are often misunderstood and left without foster parents. 

“Honestly. Twelve is like my favorite age is preteens because they are, man, they're going through so much. And they're very smart. They have a lot of ability to do some of the same things that adults do.,” said Jessica. “Preteens have a lot of intelligence already in their young life.

Beyond the children, Jessica also builds relationships with their biological parents, something she considers an essential part of her role as a foster parent.

“The best thing about being a foster parent is the connection I create – not just with the children but with their families,” she shared. “In this case, I have a strong relationship with the girls’ biological parents. They love their children but need support, and I see my role as helping both the kids and the parents as they work to improve their lives.”